If we are truly going to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, we must change the way we view our relationship with God. We have a few paradigms that are common in Christianity; like rose colored glasses they affect how we see the world and interpret the Bible. We are accustomed to thinking in terms of right vs. wrong, truth vs. lie, sin vs. righteousness, etc. We are not accustomed to thinking in terms of pleasing vs. grieving or kindling vs. quenching.
If I may illustrate it, murder is wrong. However, there is something especially heinous about a husband murdering his wife. It is not just that it is immoral, unethical, evil, or even a sin. There is a betrayal of the relationship, a stabbing in the back, that makes this crime so much worse. The relationship component can heighten even the lowliest of sins. Most marriages crumble over a thousand papercuts. Even the “major” sins in a marriage are normally the fruit of a myriad of small hurts, slights, and betrayals.
The Bible warns us against grieving the Spirit and also against quenching Him. This is the great pitfall we must avoid if we want to walk in His power.
What does it mean to grieve the Spirit? It simply means to cause distress or sadness. This is obviously done through “big” sins. It is also done through thousands of small choices that we make every day. In Ephesians 4:17-32, we are given a long list of things that grieve the Spirit of God. These things include:
- Living like the world
- Staying ignorant of God
- Having a hard heart that is not sensitive to the Spirit
- Sensuality or longing for sexual sin
- Not dying to self
- Not renewing our minds
- Not striving to be like Jesus
- Sinful anger
- Theft
- Laziness
- Refusal to share or be generous
- Corrupt speech
- Speech that does not build others up
- Speech that is not filled with grace
- Bitterness
- Arguing
- Slander
- Malice towards others
- Not being kind
- Refusing to forgive
This list describes the church experience of most believers. Is it any wonder that we do not see the Spirit work? How can we expect the Spirit to move in power when we deliberately, brazenly, and without shame do virtually everything on this list daily? It is not enough to justify ourselves by touting our “righteousness.” I once knew a man who told me all of the great thing he did as a husband even though he strangled and beat his wife. He said that besides for the domestic violence he was a great husband! So it is with many professing Christians. Please understand that this list in Ephesians is what matters to the Holy Spirit. We cannot grieve Him and be right with Him at the same time.
The Bible warns us that our grieving of the Spirit can lead to Him being quenched. This means that His holy influence is completely extinguished. In 1 Thessalonians 5:12-22 we are given another list of what quenches the Spirit:
- A refusal to submit to God given authority
- Not honoring those who labor in the church
- Disunity in the body
- Not confronting laziness
- Not helping those who are struggling
- Being impatient with other believers
- Revenge, not turning the other cheek
- Not rejoicing
- Neglecting prayer
- Being ungrateful
- Despising the proclaimed (and directed) Word
- Not showing discernment
- Not holding to what is good
- Engaging in any form of evil
Once again, this describes most professing Christians. How can we expect the Spirit to save, sanctify, and empower His people when we are constantly quenching Him? These two lists should be eye openers for every believer. We must repent! We must apologize to the Spirit and cease those things which grieve and quench Him. This is the great pitfall on the path to power. May God give us the grace to live lives that please the Spirit and kindle His work!
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