Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. – 2 Corinthians 2:10-11
In 2 Corinthians 2, Paul speaks of the need to forgive those who do what is wrong. He then points out that the refusal to forgive is one of the ways Satan infiltrates the church. He speaks of how the people of God are not ignorant of how Satan seeks to destroy the church. His schemes are well documented and observable. For the most part, his tactics have never changed; they have been the same for thousands of years. For decades as a pastor, I have seen the same tactics used over and over again. It is as predictable as the sunrise.
God will begin to do some good things in the church. Someone will get upset about something minor. They will not address this issue directly. They will go to others to “get advice” on how to handle the situation. The mole hill grows and grows into a mountain of a crisis. The momentum of the church comes to a halt. The crisis is addressed, and the “mountain” is seen for the molehill that it always was. Somebody gets caught in the crossfire and leaves the church. It takes months or years for trust to be restored. God begins to move again and the cycle repeats.
So how do we get off the merry-go-round? How do we disrupt Satan’s plans? Jesus spent a substantial amount of His time teaching us how to avoid this trap. The things He taught though were not suggestions; they are commandments that are binding on the lives of everyone who names the name of Christ. What are these commands?
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. – Matthew 7:3-5
Every person in the church has issues; that includes you and me. It is easy for me to think that I am such a wonderful Christian because of how much I tolerate all the messed-up people around me, but have I ever considered how gracious the people of the church must be to put up with me? Many times we engage in gossip and disparage others because it is a welcome escape from the disaster that is our own life. Before we become hyper focused on other’s problems or the problems of the church, we must take a good long look in the mirror.
Am I actually on fire for the Lord? Am I a member of the church? Do I give financially to support the church? Do I pray for the members of the church? Do I serve the church in any capacity? How is my church attendance? How is my devotional life? When was the last time I shared the Gospel with someone? When was the last time I fasted? Are my life, marriage, and family exemplary?
As a pastor, it is uncanny how accurate Jesus’ teachings are. Usually, the person who complains the most about others is the one who does the least for the Kingdom of God. If I am doing what God has called me to do, I won’t have time to be so hyper focused on the speck in my brother’s eye! Also, if I am not truly sold out for Christ, am I really in a position to be discerning the issues in other’s lives or the life of the church? Isn’t that the blind leading the blind? If my ideas are not working for me, why am I seeking to spread them?
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. – Matthew 18:15
Jesus demands that we go directly to the person who we perceive as being the problem. Why? Because many times we are mistaken. Consider this:
- Do I know for certain they did or said that? Was I an eyewitness? Was I there? Do others who were there agree with my understanding of what happened? Do I really have two or three witnesses like my Lord and Master demands of me?
- Is it possible that my spouse, friend, child, etc. misunderstood or misinterpreted something? They are sinners too, just like me; they can lie to me.
- Is it possible that there is more to the story that I am not privy to? Remember Proverbs 18:17. The second person may make a fool out of me when the whole story comes to light.
- Is it possible that I am dealing with old information and the Lord has already changed the person? God still changes people! When He does, He is under no obligation to consult with me or inform me. I am supposed to love my brother or sister in Christ enough to find out for myself.
You see, the reasons we give for not obeying Jesus and directly speaking to the person actually say far more about us than them. What if I am wrong? Do I have the humility to apologize? Satan gets us so deep in our hurt and gossip and betrayal, that we somehow think that disobeying Jesus is the solution. Even if we were proven wrong, we have become so jaded that we will not seek to recover the relationship. The vast majority of the time, what we are so worked up over isn’t even real. Obey Jesus! Go talk to the person.
In addition to this, how can I ever expect the situation to be fixed if the person who caused the problem does not even know there is a problem? How unloving is it to leave a blind man stumbling in his blindness and not even offer a helping hand! This is not the love of Christ! It is Satan’s scheme to destroy the church.
…and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him. – Luke 17:4
So what if the person did something awful? Haven’t I done worse myself? Do I alone get a monopoly on grace and forgiveness? God only forgives me and my friends? The last time I checked, Jesus welcomed sinners. The people who had a problem with this were not exactly the good guys. Maybe the reason so many people don’t see the problem that I see is not because they are deceived. Maybe it is because I refuse to forgive others for the wrongs they have done.
Is it possible that I am still nursing hurt feelings from years ago and the person has not actually done anything wrong? Is it possible that I am just a bitter, judgmental person refusing to forgive?
Many, many church fights are actually the rehashing of old wounds that were never healed. Our Lord commands us to forgive others, reconcile completely with them, and live in unity with them. Of course, there are people that will never repent, and we cannot reconcile the relationship. Jesus addressed that as well. I am not the one who gets to make that decision! It is the gathered church who gets to decide that (Matthew 18:17.)
Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. – Matthew 5:25
Most misunderstandings and even direct sin can be resolved and reconciled if dealt with right away. However, when we allow these things to fester, they grow much bigger than what they actually are. This is why Jesus demands immediate reconciliation. We make excuses for why we delay to obey. This delay gives Satan time to work his way deeper into the situation. We then begin to “vent” or “seek advice.” (We are actually gossiping.) We are destroying someone else’s reputation. We are making the problem bigger; we are not solving the problem.
We must call this out for what it is. We are directly disobeying Jesus! We are dragging more people into our hurt. Others are going to grow in their mistrust. This makes the division even bigger.
Over the years I have seen this play out many times. Visitors won’t stay at the church because they are told gossip by members of the church. The person who gossiped is then shocked they leave the church! People begin to withdraw from others because they are fed rumors about them. They end relationships over the rumors. The small issue grows and grows and grows and grows!
Kill the cancer before it can take root. Go to the person immediately! Obey Jesus. Don’t delay. This small crack in your friendship could mean a split in the Body of Christ.
You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. – Matthew 5:21-22
Even the slightest statements of anger and disappointment in our brothers and sisters can be an instrument of Satan. The longer we wait, the worse it gets, and the harder true reconciliation becomes. As we become comfortable with the broken relationship, our consciences become more and more deadened because of sin.
Of course we seek to justify this! We are right! Everyone else is wrong! Everyone else is blind! Why can’t they see it? Maybe, just maybe, this is a “me” issue. If I was walking with Jesus, I would have addressed this issue a long time ago.
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. – Matthew 7:1-2
Years ago, a very prominent pastor sued another prominent Christian. He did this right after preaching on 1 Corinthians 6 which forbids Christians from suing other Christians. When confronted about the blatant hypocrisy, he pulled an all too familiar answer, “He is not my brother in Christ.” I wish I could say that this was a rare occurrence, but unfortunately, it plays out on repeat in church after church after church.
It is very possible that the person is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It is very possible that they are bearing awful fruit that exposes the state of their heart. I could be right! There is just one slight problem, and I know that this may come as a surprise to you, but I am not God! I cannot see the human heart. I literally have no way of knowing if I am right or wrong.
Remember that before the section on wolves, Jesus literally commands us to not judge. He warns us that the judgment we pass on others will be passed on us. Remember that it was the Pharisees who condemned Jesus before He even had a trial (John 7:51). We must be very suspect of our own judgement and hearts on this issue.
Jesus has laid out how we determine who is a wolf and who is a sheep. Simply put, we as individuals don’t! That decision is left to the gathered church, not me, not you. The gathered church is bound by the teachings of Jesus to only consider the evidence that two or three witnesses bring. Simply put, if I have discovered that someone is a wolf, I owe it to the church to investigate and gather the witnesses to protect the church.
Herein is the irony, Satan is the accuser of the brethren (Revelation 12:10.) Most people will not actually follow Matthew 18. Instead, they join Satan in accusing the brethren. They refuse to go to the person. They refuse to get witnesses. They refuse to drop their accusations when they are found to be unfounded or even blatant lies. At this point, who is the wolf? Who is the person who is not a follower of Jesus (literally)? The judgment that we place upon others opens us up to judgment concerning the state of our own souls.
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. – Matthew 7:12
Have I ever asked myself this question, “If the situation was reversed, what would I want them to do?” I guarantee that the answer is not, “spread the rumor to everyone, withdraw from the relationship, and refuse to speak to me.” Why do we so quickly disregard the Golden Rule?
How would I want people to respond if there was a rumor about me or my child going around? Why am I not responding that way? Have I considered that this person may have heard numerous rumors about me and my family, ignored them, and loved me anyway? What a way to pay back their kindness!
The next time you are tempted to talk about someone, ask yourself how you would feel if that person was talking about you. Act accordingly.
And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. – Matthew 22:39
Simply put, all of these things come down to this: “love your neighbor.” Love thinks the best of your neighbor even when they are not present. Love gives them the benefit of the doubt. Love forgives when they do wrong. Love forgets all the wrongs done. Love communicates. Love tells the truth. Love does not assume the worst.
One of the excuses I hear constantly is, “I already know what they will say.” Or “It won’t change anything.” What a loving attitude! Can you imagine if Jesus “loved” you like that? “Why die for them? They won’t believe anyway.” “Why even try to save them? I know they won’t change.”
Aren’t you glad Jesus loved you? Aren’t you glad that Jesus loved you when you were a mess? Couldn’t that possibly mean that you could love messy people too? How long did Jesus put up with you before you came around? How much nonsense in your life is Jesus still putting up with?
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:11
It is this love, grace, and forgiveness that is so necessary in the church of Jesus Christ. It is this love that will stop the schemes of the Evil One. May we love our brothers and sisters as Christ has loved us!