Pursuing Marriage – How Do I Know?

Pursuing Marriage – How Do I Know?

How do I know if this is the person I am supposed to marry?

1. Is it lawful?

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.Matthew 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.1 Corinthians 7:10-11

When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.Ecclesiastes 5:4

Many young people become attracted to someone who is going through a divorce, recently divorced, having marital problems, or married. We must not just uphold God’s Law for our own marriages, but we must help others maintain their vows as well. No matter how much you “love” someone, if they have made a marriage covenant with God we must help them to keep their vows not entice them to break them. Jesus is very clear, marrying someone else’s spouse is adultery.

2. Do the parents approve?

If a woman also vow a vow unto the LORD, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth; And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the LORD shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her.Numbers 30:3-5

If the parents do not approve of the relationship, that is a good sign that this is not the person for you. God can change their hearts, but He will not honor your rebellion against their authority.

3. Are you on the same page?

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 2 Corinthians 6:14-17

If the other person is not a believer, you should never enter into a romantic relationship. If one party is not a believer, God forbids the marriage. Being unequally yoked though can go well beyond the question of salvation. It can also apply to spiritual maturity, doctrine, etc.

4. Are you going the same direction?

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?Amos 3:3

If you are going opposite directions with your lives the relationship is doomed to fail. You should have the same goal and direction for your lives.

5. Are you willing to sacrifice your life for them?

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.Ephesians 5:22-33

Many women balk at the idea of submitting to their husbands. They unfortunately balk too late. If you do not want to submit to a man, then don’t marry him! If you do not want to give up your live for a woman, then do not marry her! If she is not worth giving up a hobby for, then she is not the woman for you.

Each person is called to a different ministry. Many young men and young women are broken and scarred by this world. Some men may be called to marry such a broken woman. However, if you are not willing to sacrifice everything for your spouse’s healing than do not marry them!


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