Before we can talk about pursuing marriage we must rightfully understand who we are, why we were created, what marriage is, and the purpose of marriage.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.Genesis 1:27-28
Both men and women were created to glorify God by making all of creation reflect His glory (taking dominion). As such, both men and women were not created for marriage; we were created for God and His glory. Your ultimate fulfillment is not found in marriage – it is found in taking dominion for the glory of God.
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.Genesis 2:7-8
And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.Genesis 2:15-17
Notice that the man was created to work. Before God ever gave Adam a wife He first gave Him a job and gave Him His Law. Boys should not pursue marriage; they should pursue manhood. They should seek to take dominion in accordance with God’s commandments.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.Genesis 2:18
Adam was unable to do what God required of him by himself. He needed help. Notice that the primary reason for the creation of the woman and subsequently the purpose of marriage was a multiplication of the work of dominion for God’s glory. Marriage was not about sex, companionship, fun, soul mates, etc. Marriage was about glorifying God in fulfilling the task He had given. Marriage is a tool for the task; it is not an end in and of itself.
And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.Genesis 2:19-20
God creates animals to help Adam in his task by multiplying his efforts. These animals will be a tremendous help to him, but they are not uniquely suited to help him in the task at hand. Remember that marriage is not about finding a soul mate or sexual partner. Marriage is about finding the person that is uniquely suited to maximize your efforts in expanding the Kingdom of God.
In addition to this, Adam is completely unable to fulfill a huge part of his purpose alone. He cannot be fruitful and multiply without a wife. One of the primary reasons for marriage is procreation. We now live in a fallen and broken world. Through this brokenness procreation is not always the result of marriage; sometimes couples are unable to have children. However, it is impossible to separate marriage from fruitfulness in Genesis. Procreation is a huge part of God’s design for marriage.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.Genesis 2:21-25
The woman was created to help the man in his task of dominion. Just as a man was created to glorify God through taking dominion, so the woman was created to glorify God through helping the man take dominion. Marriage is not the goal! Glorifying God by taking dominion and advancing His kingdom is the goal. Marriage is simply a tool that helps us multiply our efforts and accomplish the task God has given us.
Scripture is also very clear that marriage is only between a man and a woman. If we are talking about pursuing marriage, we must first emphasize that boys’ focus should be on becoming men, not getting married. Girls should focus on becoming women, not getting married. Only a man should pursue marriage to a woman. Boys and girls should not focus on getting married; they should instead focus on maturing.
Scripture is also clear that marriage is a leaving of the parents. If you are unable to live apart from your parents’ assistance you should not be pursuing marriage. You should instead focus on having the ability to live independent of your parents’ help.
Lastly, sexuality is to be enjoyed only within marriage. Within marriage nudity, physical affection, and sex are glorifying to God. Sexuality is a great gift to be enjoyed within marriage not something to be repressed, ashamed of, or despised.
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