The very first sin was a case of marital role reversal. Instead of leading and making the decision Adam followed Eve. Instead of supporting Adam Eve made the decision. Every single marital problem I have ever encountered has had its roots in role reversal.
Submission is not the curse, it is the solution
Many people have classified God’s instructions to Eve concerning submission as part of the curse; however, God is simply instructing Eve on how to avoid making the same mistake. The phrase God uses is the exact same phrase He uses with Cain. Cain is going to have desires arise; however, he must determine whether he should act on those desires. The desires will come, but they are subject to his decision. In the same way, a wife must submit her desires to her husband and let him make the decision.
Which comes first?
Married couples often place blame on their spouse for role reversal. “If she wasn’t so head strong I would lead.” “If he would make the right decision I wouldn’t be forced to lead.” However, each person must focus on being what God created them to be. Almost every marital problem is the result of both people failing to be what God has called them to be. Arguing over who really is to blame is only refusing to take responsibility for your own contribution to the problem.
The answer is in Jesus
Eve and Cain ultimately failed and let their desires rule them. Married people will often do the same. We would do well to remember that Ephesians 5 comes after Ephesians 1 and 2. We can only be what God has created us to be (Ephesians 5) if we have been raised to walk in newness of life in Jesus (Ephesians 1 and 2.) On our own we will fail. We must have Jesus as the center of our lives if we are to be the person God has called us to be.
Will you seek Jesus so that He might make you what He has called you to be?