In all relationships there is conflict
No two human beings are exactly alike, and because of this there will always be conflict in relationships. Jesus’ teaching here goes well beyond marriages and applies to all relationships. The reason behind all conflicts is universal, pride. Therefore, the solution is universal, humility.
We maximize other’s faults and minimize our own
The Bible’s teachings on marriage and relationships are universal, one size fits all, without exceptions. This bothers us because surely our situation is different. If God knew how horrible our spouse was surely He would make an exception. That is why Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 7 are so needed. No matter how horrible your spouse may be, you are the one with the beam in your eye. We all tend to believe that we are the one with the speck and our spouse is the one with the beam; however, our spouse believes they have the speck and we have the beam. We maximize other’s failures and minimize our own.
We must take responsibility for the problem
You are unable to change your spouse or force them to come to Christ for Him to change them; therefore, all you can do is focus on your own contribution to the problem. When you begin to look for how you contribute to your marital problems you are on the way to healing. You must focus on your own behavior and sins instead of your spouse’s. Even when your spouse is in gross sin, you must take responsibility to see them brought out of their sin. Although you do not bear guilt for the sins of your spouse you do bear responsibility to see the problem fixed. In many respects, it does not matter who spilled the milk someone must clean it up.
What Jesus did
This is exactly what Jesus did. Although He never sinned He took responsibility to bring us out of our sin. “For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Corinthians 5:21) Jesus did not create the problems in this world, but He moved first to fix the problems in this world. We must be like Jesus.
Will you stop looking at other’s sins and focus on your own? Will you give your life to Jesus?