What a Man Needs from His Wife (Proverbs 14:1)

A wise woman

In the spirit of Matthew 7 we must remember that a wise woman will not complain about her husband’s faults but seek how she might contribute to the solution. A woman has massive influence on her husband for good or bad. A wise woman will seek to learn how to best influence her husband for good.

Without a word

In 1 Peter 3, we are told something remarkable. We are told that a woman can influence her husband to change without using a single word. This is mind blowing to women and counterintuitive. This is because most women treat their husbands the way they want to be treated, like a woman. This will never work. For a woman to influence her husband she must understand what a man needs from his wife.

Submission

Wives are constantly reminded to submit to their husbands. Submission is not being a doormat. Submission is simply giving all the information to someone else and letting them make the decision. A man should listen to his wife, but the wife should ultimately leave the decision in the hands of her husband.

Respect

All of this points to the one thing men crave more than anything else, respect. Virtually all the behavior of your husband is easily understood through the lens of craving respect. If a man cannot get respect in a particular situation he quits and goes to where he will get respect. Even sex is about respect. A man does not just simply want to have sex; he wants to be looked up to, desired, and wanted by a woman. For a man, an eager partner is a sign of respect. If a man feels like a woman does not respect him he will have little sexual desire towards her. Men will do almost anything for respect, but if they realize they cannot win they will quit. Many wives put their husbands in lose-lose situations. He either gives up his masculinity or he makes his wife mad; most of the time, he will just go hunting, fishing, or work another shift instead. At least there he can maintain his masculinity and not see how mad his wife is.

A wise woman’s actions

A wise woman will so honor and respect her husband that he will not feel the need to find respect elsewhere. She will learn to present her desires in such a way that it maintains her husband’s need for respect.

Approved of by God

A man must never look to his wife for approval. He will never be satisfied by the approval of a woman. He must seek the approval of God. Here alone is where a man will be truly satisfied.

Application

Will you show your husband respect? Will you encourage the women in your life who are being good wives? Do you know the approval of God because of what Jesus Christ has done?